The Fatal Fears That Will Always Hold You Back

What are you afraid of? The normal answers to that sort of question will be activities like, flying, drowning, or the most common is speaking in public. Or you may have a fear of spiders, rats, or snakes. Claustrophobia, the fear of confined spaces, and Agoraphobia, the fear of open or public spaces, are both well-known conditions that can cause major problems for people in their everyday lives. And there are even some obscure irrational fears like triskaidekaphobia which is an extreme superstition regarding the number thirteen! Hopefully none of them affect you and if they do you should know that they can usually be overcome by taking the right steps. But there are other fears, often that you are not conscious of, that will hold you back and prevent you from achieving what you want in life. They are often the result of the experiences and conditioning that you have been subject to in your life so far.

And overcoming them is vital to your progress to your goals. There are several that can be identified but it is the following five that are most relevant: #1 Fear of Change There is a saying in my part of the world which states, "if it aint broke, why fix it?" In other words if something seems to be Ok why change it? Well that's fine if you are happy with the way things are but often in order to move forward things will need to change. The problem is that it is very easy to get into your comfort zone and to let things carry on just as they always have. You won't get hurt by standing still but very soon people or events will pass you by and you will find that in reality you are going backwards. So change is essential in everyone's life, even if it's only little things like taking a new route to work, eating less chocolate, or going to the gym more often. But more often to get to where you want to be will need a change of thinking and of your habits and you should not be afraid to do so.

#2 Fear of Failure One of the main reasons why you don't take the steps necessary to change your life is that you are afraid of failing. You may believe you don't have the skills or knowledge to succeed but they can easily be learned. More crucially you may have become conditioned through your past experiences to feel that you will fail. The things people have said to you, particularly in your childhood, are stored in your subconscious and give you an excuse for not doing what you desire. Taking stock of your achievements, skills and knowledge will help you to be more positive and overcome the negative thoughts that hold you back. Regular positive affirmations, like telling yourself when you feel good or do something well, will help you to grow in this area too.

#3 Fear of Rejection Wanting to be loved or to feel you belong is natural. And so you will tend to go along with the flow and accept what others tell you rather than standing out and risking their rejection. As a child you may have been told that "children should be seen and not heard" and punished for speaking out of turn.

That will have conditioned you to believe that you should keep quiet and stay in the background and that doing anything "different" will cause others to reject you. But a child encouraged to ask questions and to express him or herself will grow into an adult who will more easily challenge the norm and take risks. So be that child today and you will find the only rejection comes not from people you respect or admire, but from those who themselves are afraid or jealous of what you are achieving. #4 Fear of Success It may seem odd but the fact is that many people are simply afraid of success and what it may bring. It may be that they feel it would mean extra responsibility or having to move away from the things and people that surround them at present. So although they may say they want things like a big house, a fast car, or lots of money they will rather moan about the fact they haven't got them and make all sorts of excuses for not doing so.

You are often conditioned to believe you have your place in life and that you should be grateful for what you have and so you develop an unconscious fear of succeeding. Hence the excuses and procrastination. But there is nothing wrong in being successful and a positive approach with well formulated goals will help you to be so. #5 Fear of Yourself Quite simply unless you learn to act in the way that is right for you and not the way you are told to act, you will fail. You should always remember that you are a beautiful, special, unique person and that only you can truly shape your own life.

So be yourself, follow what you believe to be right, be a good and honest person, and don't live in anyone else's shadow. You will succeed if you learn to live without fear. If you are always positive and set and follow your own written goals you will achieve what you desire. All you need to do is believe and take action.

This article was written by Tony Hall who runs his own business dedicated to helping individuals develop their personal and business skills. You can learn more about how to develop your own life skills and get your complimentary copy of "The Process of Success" by signing up for his weekly newsletter at: http://www.selfimprovementskills.com/newsletter.html